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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?